Putting on My Big Girl Pants

     Tomorow morning, I'm putting on my big girl pants.  Actually, if we are going to get technical about it, tomorrow morning I am putting on my big girl bicycle shorts.  But that' really a matter of semantics.

     When I started running, I did it by myself.  I trained for my first half marathon and then my first marathon alone.  And I loved it.  Because, if I'm being completely honest, I like being by myself.  I heard and read about people involved in great running groups.  But truthfully, that never appealed to me.  I like being by myself.  Running was my time to think.  I think best when I'm running.  I solve life's problems when I'm running.  I clear out my head and get a fresh perspective when I'm running.  If I'm trying to talk to other people, or trying to speed up to keep up, or slow down so I don't ditch them, I'm thinking about that and can't get into my running zone.  So running clubs?  Not really my thing.

     Then, I started triathlon.  At the time, I was still living in Richmond.  While I had great friends in Richmond, they weren't really the active type.  So it was often me, by myself, at the pool, on my bike or out running.  And I never really thought anything of it.  I trained for and did all my running races alone, I can train for and do triathlons alone too.  And so I did.

     Occasionally, I was open to the idea of riding my bike with another person, but only one person, my brother.  He taught me how to ride a bike and I knew he wouldn't judge me if I did something stupid.  But other than that, it was me and my bike, or me and my goggles, or me and my running shoes.  Alone.  And I really didn't mind it.  I trained for my first triathlon that way.  I trained for my second and third triathlons that way, and I eventually trained for my half Ironman that way.  It's just how I did it.  Alone.

     But a funny thing happened when I moved at the end of last year.  I started getting a little tired of doing all my workouts alone.  I started thinking I wouldn't mind having someone else along with me on a ride or someone to chat with between sets in the pool.  But I didn't really do anything about it because I was so used to training alone.  But as time has passed and I've gotten settled in a new community, I've found that in many ways I've surrounded myself with people that make me better at triathlon and people that have the same interests as I do.  I hired a coach that I'm accountable to with all my workouts.  And I've made friends who have similar interests.  Some who swim, some who run, and some who swim, bike, run.

     A friend approached me about swimming once or twice a week, and it sounded fun.  So I did.  And now, when I swim, I don't swim alone every time and it's nice.  But the pool seems like a safe place to start...not training alone.  If I swim slower, I just swim slower.  If I swim faster than my friend, I just swim faster.  No problem.  Biking and running?  That's a different story.

     But today something happened that made me face my fear of training not alone.  A friend of mine who is a really good athlete asked me if I wanted to ride with her this week and I said "yes" without hesitation.  Because riding with her?  Sounds like fun! Sounds like a heck of a lot more fun than riding by myself.  But as the afternoon has crept on, the fears about the ride have crept back.  And I'm starting to remember why I always did this alone.

     Tomorrow is the first time I'm going biking with someone who is not my brother.  And to be quite honest, I'm a little scared because it's something new.  And what if I'm not fast enough?  What if I can't keep up?  I know this sounds silly, but it's something I worry about.  But I also know that it's going to be fun!  Not riding by myself for hours on end.  Having someone to talk to and push me.  So what if I can't quite keep up?  Isn't training with better people what makes you faster?  I sure hope so!

     So tomorrow morning, I'll wake up.  I'll be a little nervous, but I'll put on my big girl {cycling} shorts, and ride down the street to meet a friend and go for a little ride...not alone.  I'll let you know how it goes!

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