Chasing Joy

Since I last put pen to paper, or ummm, fingers to keyboard, a lot has happened. Suffice it to say, it wasn't the best start to the year for me: lots of work stress; some family things; surgery; recovery; and the list goes on.

I can't say for sure that "things have turned around" or "the rest of this year is going to be awesome." I just don't know that, that's not the way things work. But over the past 2 weeks, my mindset has started to change. I'm taking advantage of the things I can control and this summer I'm chasing joy.

Let me back up a little...

A few months ago, when my cast came off, I started trying to get back into the swim bike run groove, but for one reason or another, I was having trouble with it all. I was finishing workouts feeling frustrated and down on myself. And I just wasn't having fun. Looking back, I know a lot of it was related to the stress I was dealing with outside of training. Couple that with the fact that my fitness was (obviously) nowhere near where it was last year, and I was a discouraged, down-on-myself mess.

After several months of beating myself up, pushing myself, and failing time and time again, I had to ask myself why it is that I do this whole triathlon thing. There a lots of answers to that question, some big reasons, some small reasons. But the thing I kept coming back to is that it's fun and I love it. The sport brings me joy, plain and simple.

So I made a decision, not a big monumental one, like say quitting my job or moving across the country, but I decided that I was going to make the little choices every day to do the things that make me happy. I was going to make chasing joy a priority.

It came slowly at first, but I registered for my first race, because I knew that being in that environment would make me happy. I pushed myself like I hadn't in a long time (except for in transition because I can't run yet) and smiled the entire day (a 3rd place finish in the aquabike division didn't suck either).

I started driving an extra 10 minutes on my lunch break so I could swim at the outdoor pool.

I've been waking up a little earlier to go on longer walks and spend more time with this guy.

I left work a little early last Friday to spend the afternoon with a good friend and hear one of my favorites in concert.

I've been riding outside in the mornings and heading down to the oceanfront to do some dolphin watching on two wheels.

I set my trainer up on the porch instead of inside.

I added a new road bike to my little bike family.

I bought a new stripy swimsuit that's a little bright for me, but I wear it with reckless abandon at the outdoor pool.

And today, I decided to wear sparkly shoes to work, because nothing makes a Monday happier than sparkles.

And the craziest thing is, I'm happier than I've been in a really long time. The little things are adding up. My circumstances haven't changed drastically; but now, my training log is filled with comments like "happy happy happy" and "I had so much fun!" I've found the reason I swimbikerun again. And not surprisingly, my workouts have gotten better. I don't have as much trouble making my intervals in the pool. And when I do miss them, my day isn't over. I just work a little harder the next time around and know that my best is enough. And the bike, well, I'm enjoying spending time on two wheels again.

So if you need me, I'll just be here at the beach all summer, chasing joy!