The Journey

Ithaca

When you set out for Ithaca
ask that your way be long,
full of adventure, full of instruction.
The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops,
angry Poseidon - do not fear them:
such as these you will never find
as long as your thought is lofty, as long as a rare
emotion touch your spirit and your body.
The Laistrygonians and the Cyclops,
angry Poseidon - you will not meet them
unless you carry them in your soul,
unless your soul raise them up before you.

Ask that your way be long.
At many a Summer dawn to enter
with what gratitude, what joy -
ports seen for the first time;
to stop at Phoenician trading centres,
and to buy good merchandise,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensuous perfumes of every kind,
sensuous perfumes as lavishly as you can;
to visit many Egyptian cities,
to gather stores of knowledge from the learned.

Have Ithaca always in your mind.
Your arrival there is what you are destined for.
But don't in the least hurry the journey.
Better it last for years,
so that when you reach the island you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaca to give you wealth.
Ithaca gave you a splendid journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She hasn't anything else to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca hasn't deceived you.
So wise you have become, of such experience,
that already you'll have understood what these Ithacas mean. 

-- Constantine P. Cavafy

I saw recently that Chrissie Wellington had posted this poem a while back on her blog and so I read it.  And reread it.  And right now, I can't even put into words how much the poem resonates with me.  But I'm going to try (never a good idea).

So far in my journey toward Ironman Florida, I've reached some goals, made some changes for the better, and have been content and happy with my training.  I've learned when to push myself and when to rest.  I've learned to listen to my body, but to know the difference between not wanting to work hard and actual pain.  I'm learning (and sometimes trying and failing) to balance a busy career, training, and time with my friends and family.  I'm learning to not let the bad days get me down, because if it weren't for the bad days, the good ones wouldn't seem quite as sweet.  I've learned that I'm a grumpy jerk if I don't get at least seven hours of sleep and I have had to apologize to a swimming buddy for my attitude for this exact thing.  And I've learned that as my workouts build, I seem to find a way to adjust and make time, even though it intimidates the heck out of me when I first see my training week.  I'm learning that I'm capable of a lot more than I give myself credit for.  And for me, these things are all huge accomplishments.  But learning these lessons wasn't my goal in signing up from IMFL.  They aren't Ithaca.  They are just a part of the journey along the way to that goal.

Admittedly my least favorite part of the journey: the trainer, or as I like to call it,
the place triathletes' dreams go to die.

But, something funny is happening, I'm becoming content and very grateful for these little things I'm learning and achieving along the way, instead of letting them be overshadowed by the big goal of Ironman Florida.  Should I focus only on that goal, I'm afraid I'll miss a lot of great stuff along the way.  I'm hoping that as I continue toward Ithaca, I'll see that the best part is not going to be crossing the finish line (although, that will be awesome, don't get me wrong), but instead, the best part will be the sum total of all the things I've learned along the way.

On the flip side, however, is the idea that even in learning these lessons and savoring the journey, I should always have the bigger goal in the front of my mind.  That's what I'm "destined" for.  That's what I'm training for.  But don't rush it to get here. Take the time to learn the things that will make me ready for that day.  Savor the journey, work hard, learn the lessons, have fun, take your time.  Do the things and learn the things that, without the goal of IMFL, I never would have done or learned. That way, if IMFL gets here, and it's not what I expected, it will be ok with me because the journey itself and the person I have become in the process will make it all worth it.